* Documents only for the document control society. * What happens if you try to shred margarine. * Coffee that is more powerful than a laptop. * The price you pay for participating in art. * The very one that is being digested by you now. * Spotify rejecting your album because you don't believe in yourself enough. * The latest on whether or not you've been canceled. * BREAKING NON MAMMALIAN MILK NEWS!! Sorry mammals, cockroaches make milk and it is considered a complete food * A romantic comedy set in the city in China entirely dedicated to selling Christmas decorations. * The city that sells the other 40% of Christmas decorations. * An ocean of booths selling plastic Santa Clauses as far as the eye can see. * Zoning your city by the kind of Christmas decorations sold. * Spending the rest of your life googling "van dad." * Drawing a van and airbrushing your drawing of a van. * A list of every move in every game that Mario has ever been in. * A book of polaroids of all your favorite lighting fixtures. * Consuming media by fast-forwarding to the tumbleweed parts. * The sentient tumbleweed episode of The Outer Limits. * Movies from the 1930s giving a false impression of how much you need to worry about quicksand. * A tumbleweed the size of a car that stops at the red light. * A new weird thing that a video game can be. * Having a bunch of Tumblrs and never going on Tumblr. * Contrasting a Diet Coke with Coleridge and Wordsworth. * Art where the artist has disguised a message for you. * A disappointing and super creepy bed and breakfast. * The Linux open source phone that everybody likes but nobody's heard of. * Preserving your Motorola Razr M in amber so Jim can buy it on eBay the next time he's ordering a batch of Orbitz. * An article from 1999 titled "Email on the Move." * A product using technologies developed by NASA, i.e. * Writing email in the jungle and getting the chance to send it if you survive all the quicksand. * Remember Tetris? This is a topic about Tetris. * Reading a mathematical proof that Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is actually exactly as good as Raiders of the Lost Ark and having no choice but to believe it. * Star Wars fans trying to convince each other that being based on the Hero's Journey makes a story good art. * Listening to an adult man gush about Power Rangers to you and realizing that probably Star Wars isn't any good after all and you just happened to be the right age for it. * People high-fiving you as you walk down the street in your Wolverine costume. * Going into the Forever 21 and yelling "Skeletor!" and everybody cheers. * Talking to normies about your nerd interests. * Being a parent and making friends with people you have basically nothing in common with. * Having It's-Its and That's-Its in the freezer and completing your collection with a What's-It. * Bidding on a Cheeto and getting outbid. * A point-of-sale system for funeral directors. * Talking to the funeral director before you're dead just in case you die someday. * The personalized belt buckles you'll sell at your merch table when you go back on tour. * Buying 20 $2 games for Christmas rather than the one $40 game your kid actually asked for. * Whether there were any racist belt buckles in the 1960s. * What Police Quest was before and after Daryl Gates was hired as lead designer. * The kind of video game where you have to file copious paperwork before and after you shoot someone. * The British obsession with American long haul truckers. * The kind of work that falls out of relaxation. * The Mauretania comics by Detective Pikachu. * An album that someday will be available on Spotify. * Yiwum, the city in China that produces 60% of all the Christmas decorations in the world * The time a parent of my kid's friend said "Do you remember Tetris?" * Judging by the selection on eBay, the 1960's and 1970's seems to have been the golden age of belt buckles. Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early! ()
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